When beginning the search for rental properties in New Bern, I made a list of "musts." My "musts" included multiple bathrooms, spare bedrooms, and a fenced in backyard. I do not own a dog, but the black floofs aka hungry hungry hippos aka chub chubs enjoy going outside. They have gotten especially spoiled at my parents' house and expect daily expeditions into the wild. So, hence the fenced in backyard. Theoretically, the fence would contain (or at least slow down) their venture into the actual wilderness. The black floofs of course laughed in my face and ventured into the actual wilderness Day 1 of being let out into the yard. They don't wear collars, they are not microchipped, and literally have no identification of any kind on their bodies. (Bad vet, I know). So, of course (as I am prone to do), I come up with the worst case scenario:
Since it is the first day they have been let out and we just arrived yesterday, the cats clearly have no draw back to this specific house. Therefore, they will get lost and not find their way back. Then, they will be found by someone and will be taken to the shelter and their lack of identification will lead them to be lost forever.
Several issues with this theory: First, the cats will likely hear me caterwauling their names and be able to find their way back. Also, they are cats. As a veterinarian, I should know that they have noses and eyes and ears and stuff that will allow them to find their way back. Second, who is this someone? Lastly, two fat black floofy Maine Coon looking IDENTICAL cats will likely raise suspicion that they are indeed, not homeless. Anywho, I had a moment of panic, but then I allowed them to do their thing and they eventually returned. And by return, in Luke's case, this involved me leaning my body over into unnamed foliage and picking him up over the fence because he could not figure out how to get back inside the fenced yard. Le sigh. Consequently, the cattens shall now be wearing collars and tags outside AND will be getting microchipped at their dental cleanings this year. I have included a photo of the tag that I have chosen because I cannot be taken seriously...ever.
Now to the more serious, get off my chest, bitch a little stuff. Late last night my best friend texted me and told me me something my ex had snapchatted. It seemingly was in regards to me and was not very nice (based off our history together). So, even though I have not only deleted her (& others- we'll get to that later) on all social media, not spoken to her, and moved to a DIFFERENT STATE, she still is throwing around haterade. And just for a little reflection, SHE is the one who chose to not work on our relationship and set this all in motion (after ohhh 4.5 + years mind you). Therefore, I'm not really understanding?! Don't get me wrong, we both were to blame for the CRASH AND BURN, but I do distinctly recall time and time again attempting to communicate with her and attempting to "fix things." Alas, you cannot fix something beyond repair and when one party has been halfway out the door for YEARS.
But, here is a small piece of background [we won't get into it too deeply because let bygones be bygones], so you understand where I'm coming from. My ex is now seemingly dating (and living with) an assistant that works with her. All fine and dandy right? Well, this assistant just happened to be one of our best friends through the last year. She is the one I texted when the breakup initially happened. She is the one I have CONTINUED to speak to in confidence because you know, we are friends right? Alas, my friend was not much of a friend at all. I even stopped and said goodbye to her before I left for NC. That's just embarrassing and let us say maybe even a little cruel on her part? I'm sure most would have expected my ex or my very close friend to tell me that oh la la, sparks are flying and blah blah, but again, no. No heads up. I learned this information from someone asking me about an instagram post that the friend posted. Le sigh x 1 billion. So, not only is my ex dating my ex bestie that spent COUNTLESS nights at OUR home and took care of OUR cats etc. etc., but wow, they do not even have the courtesy (balls?) to tell me. It's fun learning how cruel your past significant other can be, but EXTRA fun learning how cruel your past friend can be as well. Some will obviously argue, but YOU are seeing someone else (Hannah) and I shall raise a glass and say indeed you are correct. But, I somehow find it a tad different when Hannah really had no part in OUR life together.
SO, for now I am finished bitching. As you can see, I do have anger built up and I do find myself wanting to say not very nice things. Hannah and my TRUE friends get the pleasure of hearing those nasty things come from my lips. However, I am making improvements every day on just letting it go. Just because there are evil, cruel, selfish people in the world, does NOT mean I have to be one of them. I do not understand, nor will I ever understand how those around me can treat others so poorly with no regards for their wellbeing. I have moved to the beach, something I have ALWAYS wanted to do. I am starting a new job tomorrow and I only work 35 hours a week. I will have ample time to go kayaking, biking, swimming, literally whatever I want, whenever I want. I have people in my life who TRULY love me. I know what love is and I know how to treat others, so I'm learning to surround myself with ONLY those who know and do the same.
This quote resonates with me, because I believe that every person struggles with letting things go and feeling the need to retaliate. I'm hoping that this space will be cathartic for me, as well as the obvious distance I have created between me and my past. I want to be a happy person and I already am so much happier than I was six months ago. I want to evolve, grow, live. And, maybe with a few more bitchy blog posts and the support of my family and friends, I'll get there. I wish the same for you.
Comments