So, admittedly, I don't necessarily enjoy being alone, but then again I LOVE being alone. Let me explain. Most anyone that knows me knows that I have had several serious, longterm relationships. I have been told numerous times that I jump from guy to guy (or girl to girl now *shrugs shoulders*) and I suppose I can see the trend. However, I've never really felt like I'm much of a rebounder. I've always been the type to think that what happens, happens and what's meant to be will be. So, when I feel something for someone that I think has potential, I go for it. As I've gotten older and suffered more hurts, this mentality has suffered. I second guess myself frequently and question intentions and etc. etc. But, back to the being alone part. I think moving to a new place where you know not a single soul has the potential to make you very lonely. And for sure, I've been lonely. I'm not some robot that doesn't need human interaction. However, my god is it refreshing to come home to MY house and do what I want and keep my house as clean and orderly and OCD neat as I like and not have to answer to a DAMN SOUL. Yes, this is trivial and minute. BUT, for me it is huge. I've lived with two of my past partners? (is that the right word...lovers?...idk whatever exes lol). The first was a doomed relationship to begin with, but I don't really remember getting frustrated when we lived together. The second was a little different. No details, but suffice it to say, I'm happy to be alone in my little house with my two cats and chinchilla. Over the years, I've contemplated that maybe I'm just not the type to get married and get shacked up and live together and be all chummy. That maybe I really just do better with my own space, especially with my OCD'ness. But, I've tried to stay open to the possibility and tell myself that I just haven't found the right person. Which I think is likely the truth, but we'll see. I am getting older and as I've mentioned to a few special people to me, I'm tired. I'm tired of the relationships that go nowhere. The relationships that leave me broken and alone. The relationships where the person you thought you knew, ends up being someone that you have no interest in even knowing. So, right now, yeah sleeping alone might be lonely occasionally, but how bad can it be when you have these two to share that queen sized bed with ;)
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